The Vlog of Haruhi Suzumiya
by MewWolf5
Summary: One day, Haruhi decides that the SOS Brigade should start a new project; a vlog. She is sure that they will get thousands of views like others do, and is very excited about it.  Will it work?


It was another average day of school; average in that Haruhi had done her typical groaning about whatever problem that she had with the world before class and dashing off doing God knows what. When I walked into the club room, I saw her feverishly typing search queries into the computer and skimming webpage after webpage. It didn't take much longer for me to notice that next to her on the desk was our video camera, plugged into the wall for a battery charge. I wanted to ask, but I decided I'd better not; I'd only have to hear it again when the others arrived, which they did pretty soon after I did.

As jolly as ever, Koizumi started setting up the chess board, but was interrupted by our Brigade Leader. "Now that you're all here; I have an announcement to make!

"Have you seen those daily videos on the Internet? They're really hot and get thousands of views! You wouldn't believe how much people enjoy watching other peoples' lives! I think we should do a vlog like that! I'm sure there are thousands of people who'll want to watch the SOS Brigade's daily activities. We could even make money!"

She then proceeded to turn the computer's monitor to face us and played a bit of one of these daily vlogs. I had to admit; that couple was pretty funny, but would thousands of people really be interested in the boring life of five Japanese high school students? Even after seeing proof that these videos were popular, I still doubted it would work out as well for us. I kept my mouth shut, though, because once Haruhi decides on something there's no stopping her.

"I think it sounds like a wonderful idea. This is going to be a lot of fun!" said Koizumi, whose response did not surprise me in the least.

"B-But what will we do?" mumbled Miss Asahina as she stared down at the table in front of her. "I-I don't know anything about online videos…"

"It'll be easy! All you have to do is walk around with the video camera and film whatever you happen to be doing!" Haruhi had that look on her face again, and I knew that she had very high hopes for this project.

I hate to break it to you, Haruhi, but being an Internet sensation isn't as easy as you think it is. I haven't tried myself, but think about it; there are thousands of people online and only a small number of them are widely known. Even among those famous ones, some are more well-known than others. What would make us worthy of being so popular? I thought about it and could still find very few redeeming features; if they could even be considered that.

"People in vlogs are always going out and doing fun things, so we should do that, too," Haruhi continued as she shoved Miss Asahina over to the costume rack. I was immediately worried by that statement. Haruhi's idea of fun was usually something very strange. I found myself doubting that I was going to find it fun even if Haruhi was.

We only had one camera, and I forbade Haruhi from blackmailing anyone into giving her four more for free, so she decided to divide a schedule of who had the camera when. It wasn't very elaborate. She would give each of us the camera for a period in the same order each day; Haruhi, Koizumi, Miss Asahina, Nagato, and then me. At the end of each day we'd go to the clubroom and review the footage. Then I'd be given the painstaking job of editing it into a video less than 15 minutes.

The first day seemed to go along fine. I could hear Haruhi making comments about me as she filmed, occasionally shoving the camera in my face. She then ran off to give it to Koizumi. I had a feeling that his teacher would think something was suspicious after this went on for a few days, but perhaps even he knew that you don't get in Haruhi's way.

When we got to the clubroom at the end of the day, the first thing to do was not to load the footage onto the camera, but instead do a bit more filming. The first thing Haruhi did was order Mikuru to put on her maid outfit. Koizumi and I invited ourselves into the hallway until we were told to come back in. I had barely walked back through the door when Haruhi grabbed the camera from my hand.

She turned it on facing herself.

"This is the SOS Brigade clubroom!"

She pointed the camera towards Nagato, reading silently in the corner, then to Koizumi, then to me.

"This sourpuss you'll have to put up with is Kyon!" Haruhi has always been wonderful with introductions.

"And this is Mikuru!" She turned the camera to Miss Asahina, who was standing there uncomfortably.

"Um… are you sure you should be filming this?" she mumbled.

"What do you think you're doing?" I asked Haruhi, trying to turn the camera away from Miss Asahina. I don't blame someone for wanting to see her like that, but I had her sensitivity in mind. I also still sort of wanted to keep her beauty to myself. "Don't you realize that _anyone_ could see our video? Think of Miss Asahina!"

"We've got to have an extra bit of attraction to our vlog!" Haruhi exclaimed. "How else will we get the extra viewership that will make us a hit? We've got to have something to get people to start watching us. I won't have to do this for every video, just until we've got a solid regular viewership!"

Did it occur to her that these regular viewers might stop watching after what kept their attention was gone? I guess not. I guess we'll just have to hope that our viewers have interests other than girls dressed like maids.

It took a few minutes to import all the footage from the camera into the computer, and then we started to watch what everyone had filmed. We started with Haruhi's footage, which consisted mostly of ridiculing everything about me, as I already knew.

Next was what Koizumi had filmed, which consisted of a very long ramble about the philosophical aspects of a piece of literature. The camera was either pointed at his smiling face or at the paper on his desk.

"I find that the events surrounding the protagonist represent several different ideas, the first being the concept of what is right and what is wrong. This is apparent when the protagonist is included in several different events where there are many different points of view about an issue and it cannot be said for sure which one is the correct one. Some are seen as bad and some are seen as good. The reader is left to wonder whether the views expressed by the characters are right or wrong. In addition…"

This went on for several more minutes. I could see Haruhi's eyes glaze over as she watched, clearly bored. I had a feeling that she would want to edit as much out of this as possible.

After that was Miss Asahina's footage. It only lasted for three minutes. She had pointed the camera at her face, but the picture was shaky from her trembling hands. She spoke slowly and kept trailing off.

"I, um…I'm in math class right now and…it's kind of hard. I…I hope I'll be able to pass the test…"

"Mikuru!" Haruhi exclaimed. "You've got to talk about something more interesting; something that people will actually be interested in."

Weren't you the one who said that a vlog could be about anything, and that people enjoyed watching a person's normal life?

We continued on to Nagato's footage. It was medium in length; it was definitely longer than Miss Asahina's, but nowhere near the excessive length of Koizumi's. Nagato spoke without stopping. The camera had been placed on her desk, pointing upwards at her face. Her hands were in her lap and she looked straight ahead as she spoke.

"This is the period four History class. I do not have an opinion about History class. I have maintained a nearly perfect grade in History class. It is not a very complex class, yet many of the students are on the verge of failing. I have nothing I can do about this, as whether or not they succeed is not something I am concerned about. However, they will all pass, as will I. They will start to study frantically as the semester nears its end and will pass the final examination."

"Yuki!" Haruhi said as she turned to where Nagato was sitting in the clubroom. "You're supposed to talk about what you're doing and what you think, not about the other people in the class!"

"Understood."

We finally made it to my footage. Oh, god…

The camera takes a moment to focus on the blackboard. It then pans over to the window and refocuses again. My voice can be heard while all of this happens.

"This is my classroom, and this is the schoolyard. This is North High."

The camera pans back into the class room, over all the students.

"This is my class."

"Whoa! Is that a video camera?" Taniguchi runs into the frame and looks into the lens.

"What are you filming?" Kunikida asks as he appears next to Taniguchi. The two of them proceed to make weird faces and poses before doing silly dances.

"That's enough! Please go back to your seats!" the teacher calls from the front of the class. Looks of disappointment momentarily crossed their faces before they headed back to their seats. "Please put that camera away!"

"We need to work on the substance of the vlog, but I think it will be alright for the first video," Haruhi says after the footage is over. "OK, Kyon! Time to edit!"

I groan as I take the seat in front of the computer. I open the video editor and start placing the video footage into the timeline.

"Don't forget to put a title at the beginning!" Haruhi says as she walks behind me. "SOS Brigade Vlog: Day 1."

I do as she says before cutting a significant amount of time from Koizumi's section of the vlog. That alone brings down the total length of the video significantly. I cut a bit of Miss Asahina's part of the video, because the first ten seconds are of the camera going without her saying anything. I also cut out a bit of my own segment, but leave in the part with Taniguchi and Kunikida. I find the idea of them making fools of themselves on the Internet amusing. It is twelve minutes in length now. I start rendering out the final video.

I look up from the computer monitor while I wait. Everyone has left. I had no idea how long I had been in the clubroom alone. I guess everyone was in a hurry to leave.

Just as it finishes saving, I remember Miss Asahina in her maid outfit. I didn't edit it out. I wasn't going to change it now. Not after the ten minutes it took to render out. I guess I can share her with the world just this once. I still have my secret folder.

I create an account and it takes another fifteen minutes to upload the video. It has gotten a little darker outside by the time I get to go home.

The camera rotations continue the next day, but with less enthusiasm than the day before. Haruhi doesn't seem to find that anyone's filming style has improved, but she doesn't make much of a point of telling us.

"Our first video only got fifty views," she says. "Hopefully we'll get some more."

I do the editing as I did before, not leaving much earlier than I did the last time.

On the weekend, I am woken up by a phone call from Haruhi. She says to meet at the usual place, and not to be late. And to bring plenty of money; she's not paying from anyone else but herself. I wonder what people online would think of this. Too bad I couldn't film it.

I am the last to arrive. What else is new? I am forced to pay for the quick lunch that we stop for at a small restaurant. After we eat, Haruhi lets us in on the game plan.

"We're going to the amusement park," she says proudly. "If we want the vlog to be interesting, we're going to have to get out and do stuff."

Maybe an amusement park isn't the most original idea, but it's not like we can fly to the moon. I guess it's one of the more interesting things we can do within our limits.

It doesn't take us too long to get there. The moment we get through the front gates, Haruhi pulls out the camera and points to the biggest roller coaster there.

"We're going to ride that thing!" she exclaims. "And we're going to film every moment of it!"

"Haruhi," I say, "don't you think we should think about letting our lunch settle first?"

"You're right," she replies. "Besides, it's no fun if we have the peak of the excitement right at the beginning. We've got to keep the viewers watching with anticipation."

We started by getting cotton candy.

"As expected, it is delicious!" Haruhi says enthusiastically to the camera.

We then watch a water show for half an hour. The camera nearly gets soaked by a passing jet ski. If Haruhi really wants to film this, she should think more carefully about keeping the camera safe.

We go on some other smaller roller coasters, which make Miss Asahina nervous enough, although part of it could be that she knows we will be conquering the biggest in the park before we leave.

Nagato points to a space simulator. Haruhi decides this is a good idea and we get on, but seems not to mind that it will be too dark to film.

"That was awesome! Thanks, Yuki!" Haruhi says after we get off. She then grabs Miss Asahina's and Nagato's hands and runs off to the photo booth.

"It seems Miss Suzumiya isn't obsessing over filming as much as she did at the beginning," Koizumi points out. "She is happy enjoying different parts of the park even if they can't be filmed. She is happy to enjoy time with her friends without documenting it, just like she has before. The idea of filming her day-to-day life hasn't caused her to become desperate or unstable."

I suppose he's right, but she is still enjoying doing a great deal of filming. I guess that could be part of her stability as well. I see her, Nagato, and Miss Asahina come out of the photo booth. I see her holding the camera up to show what the pictures look like.

"Let's go meet back up with them," Koizumi says. We walk to where the girls are standing.

"Look, guys! Aren't these great?" Haruhi shows us the pictures. They're in a set of six. In the first, Haruhi has her arms wrapped around Nagato and Miss Asahina. The second is of the three of them holding up peace signs. The third shows Haruhi with peace signs over their heads. In the fourth, they are holding hands. In the fifth one, Miss Asahina stumbles and falls. In the last one, Haruhi is laughing while Miss Asahina giggles shyly. "They'll be great on the wall in the clubroom!"

Haruhi puts the pictures in her bag and turns around. She looks up at the first hill of the parks largest roller coaster.

"OK! Are you guys ready?" she points towards it. "Let's go ride that thing!"

Miss Asahina starts to shake as we get in line.

"I'm sure this is going to be quite thrilling," Koizumi says, his smile still on his face. If he's nervous at all, he doesn't show it.

I'm still concerned for Miss Asahina. I hope that this doesn't give her anxiety for life.

"Hey, Haruhi," I say. "Are you sure you want to force Miss Asahina to ride with us? She's scared to death!"

"Of course!" Haruhi replies. "She's got to experience it! Besides, being terrified is part of the fun."

_**You**__ think it is_, I think, but I don't say it. What can I expect? Haruhi forces her idea of fun on everyone.

I'm about to say something in Miss Asahina's favour, but we have come to the front of the line.

The seats of the roller coaster are arranged so that the front of each car has three seats and the row behind it has two seats. Koizumi and I take the two, and the girls take the three in front of us. Miss Asahina sits at the far right. I can see her still shaking in her seat. Nagato sits on the left. In the middle, I can see Haruhi getting the camera ready.

A minute later, the roller coaster starts moving and heads for the first hill. It is a long climb. There is a brief pause and we are able to see the steep hill before us. I hear Miss Asahina squeal.

"Whoa!" Haruhi shouts.

And then we're falling. Well, not really. But it sure feels like it as we start speeding down the hill. When we get to the bottom I realize that I was also yelling.

"Scared?" I hear Koizumi ask. I don't answer.

As we go through the corkscrew, my stomach feels like it's in my throat. For the rest of the ride, I can hear Miss Asahina screaming, her voice raised an octave. Haruhi laughs and sounds somewhere between delight and discomfort.

Our legs are shaking when we get off the roller coaster.

"Wow! Wasn't that awesome?" Haruhi asks gleefully.

"...That was awful..." I hear Miss Asahina saying quietly. I hope she isn't in too much of a state of shock.

"It was definitely exciting," Koizumi says with a small chuckle. He seems a bit shaken, as well. He tries to hide it, but he isn't completely successful.

Haruhi is looking at what she just filmed.

"Listen to Kyon scream!" she laughs as she shows everyone the camera screen. The shaking camera is showing Haruhi's face, and in the background you can hear my yelling as we go up and down the hills. Miss Asahina and Koizumi try to stifle their laughter, but I see them anyway. Haruhi has no problem with humiliating me.

The sun has started to set, and we have reached the peak of our day, so that's when we leave the park. Haruhi gives me the camera before she goes home.

"Edit the video," is all she says.

I stare at the camera in my hands. It is the source of her joy, but less than I think she realizes. What she really enjoyed was the day that we had together. That is worth more to her than any video.

I edit it together when I get home. I have the same cheap editor on my computer as we do on the one in the clubroom. It is a difficult video to edit. There are so many things that make me smile while I remember as I watch them, even Haruhi making fun of my yelling on the roller coaster. Somehow I am able to condense it enough to fit in the rime restraints. It takes a long time to upload online, but I don't care.

In the next weeks, Haruhi's enthusiasm for the vlog begins to diminish. Nothing is as exciting or as fun after that one day we had together at the amusement park. One day, she stops giving the video camera to anyone. When I arrive at the clubroom, I don't even see it. It would have been put away. We had uploaded a total of sixteen videos, and Haruhi had lost her interest.

Still, I'm sure that the times we had together will always be dear to us. Haruhi will soon think of something else new and exciting. I mean, who knows what she will think of next?


End file.
